Hey, you know what?
Entry from 11/16/2003. I will analyze this later to see what's changed.

"How to appeal to you...

How to reel you in like a fish... with my shiny new piece of bait.

How did I acquire such an effective deception?
Years of practice. Yes, I lie awake at night, contemplating how to make you like me more.


Alright, so the introduction is done.
I'll try to stop the massive outpour of sarcastic, useless thoughts now.


Things are going to change in my life. For instance, my grades in school. Also changing: my opinions on the meaningfulness of life, my sleeping habits, my depression, my neurosis, my constant compulsion to see what death brings, my near constant compulsion to sleep all day everyday, my anal-retentive tendencies, my close minded nature, my concept of love, my overwhelming overweight obesity, a weakness I've felt since birth, this weakness I fight right now.

All of it. Consider it a winner-take-all war. I'm going to kill one of the four of me.

I don't really know if there are 3 other people that coincide in my body, but I am assuming there is at least one other. If it is nothing other than a manifestation of my own emotions, so be it.

And now I am embarrassed for my own honesty. I remember in 11th grade, a peer told me that I was too honest. As if it was a fault. A mistake on my personality's behalf.

Well I don't know about that. But I do know that when it comes down it, humanity has many reasons to feel ashamed.

To be able to forget these reasons, and move on into a future with universal love and friendship... that's where I want to be when I wake up.

Sweet dreams naive dreams."