Swim
with me
in this
endless sea

We can replenish the ocean waters with our tears
If we just keep breaking hearts
Stop paving roads

Things were simple
Love was a house and eight children
A monument to a God that looks like me and will always love me

Even if I kill you.
Even if I kill until this endless sea is littered with bodies.


And someone will say
"Oh my God, I knew that guy."

But it's not yours
It's my God.
Stop using His name in vain.


And when the infamy fades, the joy of attention, the love of a camera
it will all end the same way it began

Loneliness.

And the real you,
the one who has eluded us all,
will finally appear from this unrecognizable reality

A truth to behold
A savior to lead my path
A lie I swallowed with little to no gagging or resistance

And I think it was then...
Alone again, waiting for my sign from you
That I realized this nothingness, silence, emptiness, vastness, undeniable feeling that something is missing
This is what you are.

Everything I assumed was a fabrication
Brilliantly woven into sentences and translated across millenniums
Just so I wouldn't feel alone
So I could justify my wrong-doings
So I could sleep at night
So the children who never knew the real you had something better to believe in.


I'm no longer reasonable.
I deserve this guilt.
The safety is off, load it up and aim. Squeeze. Fin.


You were more than I could ever be
And I just want you to stay that way.
Will someone please pay the electric company to keep the lights on?
It's darker than I ever knew darkness to be.
I guess that's part of being infinite. Everything and nothing collapsed into what I will never have a name for.


Please stop. Please come back. Turn around. I'll do something differently, I'll be better. We both will be.


Call off the hounds,
I'm turning myself in.
I want to go home.



"There was nothing to fear, nothing to doubt."